parents: okay we will be home at 11 o'clock!
me: they're dead i'm alone i need to start my orphan life now
citizen: it's a bird!
citizen: it's a plane!
*superman flies down with kryptonite between his teeth*
superman: it's a metaphor
Me: i'm over my crush
"She’s really pretty for a black girl"
“He’s really cool for a gay guy”
“She’s doing really well for a woman”